Rudolph Killed Grandma
by YanksLuver
Summary: A White House children's Christmas party goes awry thanks to some of the Senior Staff.


Title: Rudolph Killed Grandma 1/1  
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)   
Category: Humor   
Pairings: General cast friendship  
Summary: A White House children's Christmas party goes awry thanks to some of   
the Senior Staff.   
Rating: PG   
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.   
Spoilers: Nope.   
Disclaimer: The West Wing and its characters do not belong to me. They   
belong to Aaron Sorkin, NBC, et al. I do this out of a love for the show and   
no infringement is intended.   
Note: This is a Christmas story I wrote last year in response to a   
challenge to have Sam end up singing "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."   
  
  
* * * Rudolph Killed Grandma (1/1) * * *  
  
  
"I'm not doing it, CJ," Toby said with a shake of his head.  
  
"The President requested that you do it, Toby."  
  
"I don't care if the Lord Almighty requested it, the answer is no," Toby   
said with a slight smirk. He paused and then asked, "Why does he want me to   
do it anyway?"  
  
CJ smiled, "Punishment for last year when you snickered during his   
rendition of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas."  
  
Toby grinned, "He used hand puppets, CJ. I believe a snicker was in   
order."  
  
CJ shook her head, "No, not when the President is 'performing' for a   
bunch of kids. You don't snicker because he's the President. I don't care   
if he's using balloon animals, you simply sit quietly, smile and listen."  
  
"You snicker at him all the time," Toby countered.  
  
"And I always pay the price. Now it's your turn," CJ said. She paused   
and then continued, "It's not a big deal. You walk in there, give a few 'ho,   
ho, ho's', and hand out a few gifts. It'll be relatively painless."  
  
"You're asking me to dress up in a Santa suit, beard and act jolly around   
a bunch of snot-nosed kids. There's no way in hell that would be relatively   
painless."  
  
"Oh, just do it!" CJ said with a stomp of her foot.  
  
"Well, that persuaded me," Toby replied sarcastically.  
  
"What is your problem? Why can't you put aside your grumpiness for even   
one hour?"  
  
"I happen to like my grumpiness. And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm   
Jewish. I don't do the Santa thing, never have."  
  
CJ sighed and rubbed at her forehead, "Okay, I didn't want to do this,   
but you leave me no choice. If you don't play Santa, the President said   
you'll have to play an elf."  
  
"An elf?"  
  
"Pointed shoes and all."  
  
"Give me the damn suit," Toby grumbled.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I've always loved Christmas. There's just a wonderful feeling that   
fills the air," Sam said to Josh with a wide smile.  
  
Josh rolled his eyes, "Well, I'm Jewish, so the whole Christmas hoopla   
means very little to me."  
  
"You don't have to believe in Christ to feel the magic of Christmas,   
Josh. It's about good will towards everyone, it's about hope for the future."  
  
"If you don't stop talking like a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie soon, I   
swear I'll hurt you," Josh warned.  
  
"Grinch," Sam sneered at him.  
  
CJ entered Josh's office and sat down next to Sam.  
  
"The President has me working on the Children's Christmas Party that he's   
hosting tomorrow. He wants to have some of it filmed by the press. You   
know, as a warm and toasty holiday story. We've got fifty kindergartners   
coming from Mallory's school. The President would like one of us to lead the   
children in Christmas Carol's. I did Thanksgiving, so I've decided that one   
of you can have Christmas."  
  
"That was very thoughtful of you, CJ," Josh said insincerely.  
  
"Was that you volunteering, Josh?"  
  
He shook his head, "I'm Jewish, remember? Somehow I think me singing   
'Away in the Manger' may be considered a tad hypocritical."  
  
CJ sighed and muttered, "'Tis the season for using the 'I'm Jewish'   
excuse."  
  
Sam grinned and turned to CJ, "I'll do it. I love Christmas Carols. Is   
there anything better than hearing the sound of tiny voices singing joyful   
songs?"  
  
Josh groaned and rubbed at his face, as he spoke to CJ, "I can't take   
much more of his jolliness. I'm this close to rounding up a few elves and   
forming a posse to kick his ass."  
  
Sam shrugged and turned to CJ, who had to bite her lip to keep from   
laughing. "Don't listen to him, CJ. He won't be so funny when he's an old,   
bitter, lonely man, who receives visits in the middle of the night from   
ex-girlfriends of Christmases past."  
  
CJ laughed and stood up, "Well, figure out which songs you want to have   
the kids sing. Just make sure they're appropriate for five year olds. I   
know that every holiday has its share of funny songs aimed at adults, written   
by adults with a warped sense of humor. Stick with the classics and you   
should be fine."  
  
Sam nodded and then turned to Josh, as CJ left. "Got any suggestions?"  
  
Josh grinned, "'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.' It's the one thing   
I like about Christmas."  
  
"You don't think that's a bit harsh for a bunch of five years olds?"  
  
"Harsh? What's harsh about it? You got your Grandma and your reindeer.   
Sounds like harmless family fun to me."  
  
"Except for the fact that Grandma gets run over by the reindeer."  
  
"So it teaches a lesson. That's good for kids."  
  
"And what lesson would that be?"  
  
"When a reindeer's on the road, get the hell out of the way." Sam   
chuckled, as Josh finished, "It teaches road safety, Sam. It's educational."  
  
Sam smiled, but shook his head, "Nah, I think we'll stick with the   
traditional ones. I don't want to give CJ a reason to yell at me."  
  
"You can just blame me. CJ never needs a reason to yell at me anyway."  
  
Sam chuckled, "Even so, traditional it is."  
  
Josh shrugged, "Suit yourself, but this is going to be one lame party."  
  
* * * *   
  
"Josh," Donna said, as she came into his office.  
  
"Yeah?" Josh answered, as he looked up from his reading.  
  
"The President said...well, he said...CJ told me to tell you...Okay, here   
it goes."  
  
"By New Year's, Donna, please," he muttered.  
  
"CJ informed the President of your crack about the elves and the posse   
and....well... he's ordered you to dress up like an elf at the party as your   
punishment."  
  
"What?!" Josh nearly screamed.  
  
"You didn't hear me?"  
  
"Damn it!" Josh shook his head and rubbed at his face. "Just so I'm   
clear, an elf is one of those little guys who dresses in green and has a   
clover in his hat, right?"  
  
"I believe you're referring to leprechauns."  
  
"So what are elves then? Those little people in 'The Wizard of Oz'?"  
  
"Those would be Munchkins."  
  
"So what the hell are elves?"  
  
"You made a joke about them. You mean to tell me you made it without   
knowing what they are?"  
  
"Yes, Donna, I am guilty of telling an elf joke without sufficient   
knowledge."  
  
"How do you not know what an elf is?"  
  
"Save me the headache and just tell me."  
  
"No, seriously, how does someone become White House Deputy Chief of Staff   
without knowing what pandas and elves are?"  
  
"Donna!"  
  
Donna sighed, "Well, they're Santa's helpers. They are usually pretty   
small and they have pointy ears. They wear green tights and pointed shoes   
with bells on the end. Oh and a little hat too, I think."  
  
"I am supposed to wear tights and pointed shoes with bells? Are you   
insane? I'd rather throw myself in front of a bus," Josh whined.  
  
"Well, that is your other option."  
  
"I really have no choice?"  
  
"The President was unwavering CJ said. Apparently, he is very fond of   
elves and did not like you implying that they have violent tendencies."  
  
Josh groaned and shook his head.  
  
* * * * *   
  
The next day, CJ walked into Toby's office to see if he was almost ready.   
She had barely crossed the threshold, when Toby saw her and started to   
chuckle.  
  
CJ stopped in front of his desk and spoke through gritted teeth, "Shut   
up."  
  
Toby perused her. She was wearing an ankle length red velvet wrap around   
dress, with faux white fur at the hem, collar and cuffs. She was also   
wearing a red velvet hat with a white puff at its top and high heel red   
shoes. Atop her head, sat a gray curly wig and small reading glasses were   
perched on her nose.  
  
"What did you do to deserve that?" Toby asked with a smile.  
  
CJ sighed, "I made fun of 'It's a Wonderful Life'."  
  
Toby laughed, "Bad move."  
  
CJ nodded, "Yes, it was. That's why I have now been punished into playing   
Mrs. Claus."   
  
She stopped and then perused him adequately for the first time. He was   
all decked out in the Santa gear. He had the red velvet Santa suit on,   
trimmed in faux white fur and belted in black. He wore a hat of the same and   
a curly white wig sat beneath his hat. His hands were gloved in white and   
his face was covered in a white beard.   
  
The look, however, was ruined by Toby's scowl.  
  
CJ smiled, "So this is you looking jolly?"  
  
"Take a picture, because this is the first and last time you'll see it."  
  
"You can't have that look on your face when you interact with the   
children, Toby."  
  
"What look?"  
  
"That scowl. It's decidedly anti-Santa."  
  
"Considering *I'm* anti-Santa, I think it's fitting."  
  
CJ sighed in defeat and then hurried to his door, "Hold on a second."   
She opened the door and then led a dog into the office.   
  
Toby stared wide-eyed at the dog, "What the hell is that?"  
  
"It's a dog."  
  
"And what is it dressed up as?" Toby asked, as he gestured to the Golden   
Retriever's red nose and antlers.  
  
"A reindeer. More specifically, Rudolph."  
  
"And it is in my office because?"  
  
"The President thinks Santa should have a reindeer. He thinks it'll be   
cute."  
  
"Sometimes I hate that man," Toby grumbled. He looked at the dog   
disdainfully, "And does he really think the children are going to be fooled   
by that miserable impersonation?"  
  
"Of course not. They're five, not stupid. It's just a nice touch," CJ   
said as she threw the leash on his desk.  
  
Toby looked at the leash blankly, before its meaning registered, "Oh no,   
I am not parading around with that mongrel. I hate dogs."  
  
"All you have to do is hold his leash when you walk in."   
  
"CJ, with the mood I'm in, I'm liable to fling him off the roof and see   
if he really can fly. You want to take that chance?"  
  
CJ bent down to cover the dog's ears, "You don't know what he might   
understand, Toby. Watch what you say."  
  
Toby rubbed at his forehead and grumbled, "Oh for the love of God, she's   
one of those people."  
  
CJ nodded, "And if you don't stop talking like that, PETA's going to be   
on our asses."  
  
Toby laughed, as he shook his head, "And you don't think it's unethical   
treatment of an animal to dress him up like a reindeer reject? That's cruel   
and unusual, if you ask me. I think they'll have a problem with that."  
  
CJ looked down at the dog, who barked at her, "I don't think so. He   
seems happy to me."  
  
Toby looked at the dog with a miserable expression, "Well, that makes one   
of us."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Donna smiled, as she adjusted the hat on Josh's head and stepped back to   
look at him.  
  
Josh looked utterly ridiculous. He was wearing a Santa hat, a white   
cotton shirt, red velvet short overalls, a vest to match, green tights and   
red felt pointy shoes with little bells at the end.  
  
Due to this, Josh had adopted a tortured expression.   
  
He groaned, "Um, Donna, I think I left my last bit of dignity in my other   
tights. You think you could go get it for me?"  
  
Donna chuckled, "You don't look that bad, Josh."  
  
"Not that bad? Donna, I look like I should be standing on a mountain   
somewhere yodeling."  
  
"You're an elf, not a yodeler."  
  
"Are you sure you didn't get them mixed up, because I have an   
overwhelming urge to yell 'RICCOLA!'"  
  
Donna laughed, "I'm sure. You look good. The children will love you."  
  
Donna reached into her pocket then and pulled out some rubber pointed   
ears. She held them up to Josh, "The last touch."  
  
Josh's eyes widened in horror and he took a step back from her. "I'm not   
wearing those things!"  
  
"You have to. Elves have pointy ears. It'll be more authentic."  
  
"Elves are also supposed to be pretty small, yet you didn't ask me to   
amputate above the knee."  
  
Donna smiled, "That's because I knew you'd say no."  
  
"Donna!"  
  
"Josh, put the ears on."  
  
"No!" Josh shouted, as he clamped his hands over his ears.  
  
"You're being a child!" Donna shouted.  
  
"At least I'll be a child with normal ears!" he shouted back.  
  
Donna grabbed his wrists and managed to pry his hands away from his ears.   
  
Josh looked at her amazement, "Your freakish strength never ceases to   
amaze me."  
  
Donna smiled, as she struggled to slip the rubber ears over his own. She   
took a deep breath as she finished. Donna stepped back and looked at him.   
She had to bring a hand to her mouth to keep from laughing.  
  
Josh groaned, "See! I look stupid."  
  
"You already looked stupid."  
  
"Donna!"  
  
"Give me a mirror," Josh demanded.  
  
Donna shook her head, "I really don't think you should-..."  
  
"Give me a mirror," he growled.  
  
Donna rummaged through her purse and pulled out her compact. She handed   
it to Josh. He opened it and surveyed himself in the mirror. He then   
grimaced and grumbled, "I look like Spock from Star Trek!"  
  
Donna smiled slightly and said weakly, "I've always thought he was a very   
handsome man."  
  
"Don't even try it," he snapped, as he clicked her compact shut. He then   
said firmly, "I'm not going."  
  
"You have to go."  
  
Josh shook his head, "No, eating, sleeping, drinking, those are things I   
have to do. This...This I do not have to do."  
  
"The President will punish you in many different ways all next year if   
you don't. Do you really want to learn more about state parks than you could   
have ever dreamt?"  
  
"I'm willing to risk it," Josh said with nod of his head.  
  
Donna sighed and grabbed ahold of his rubber ear. She then began to drag   
him out of the office. "You're going."  
  
Josh smirked, "There's one thing that's good about these ears. For once,   
this doesn't hurt at all."  
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ approached Sam, who stood in the party room in front of the   
refreshment table. He was helping himself to a glass of eggnog. "You got the   
songs all ready?"  
  
Sam nodded, as he turned to her and spoke in a slightly slurred voice.   
"C...Cathy had them all...p...printed up and made copies. They're all   
r...ready to be passed out to the kites."  
  
"Kids," CJ said, as she eyed him. "To the kids."  
  
"What did I say?" Sam asked, as he took a sip of his eggnog.   
  
"Kites...You said kites, Sam." CJ looked him over carefully, "Sam, how   
many glasses of eggnog have you had?"  
  
Sam's brow furrowed and he held up five fingers, "One."  
  
CJ shook her head and removed the glass from his hand, "Sam, I think   
you're drunk. Why did you drink so much?"  
  
He shrugged, "I..I'm nervous. I always screw up around kids. Remember   
the M...Mallory's class f..fiasco. And this is being televised."  
  
CJ sighed, "It's not a big deal, Sam. You just lead them in the songs.   
That's all. You can't mess this up."  
  
Sam nodded and then looked at CJ in confusion, "Have I ever told you that   
you like my mother, CJ?"  
  
"Your mother looks like Mrs. Claus, Sam?"  
  
"Sam shook his head and leaned in closer to her. He then whispered,   
"Shh, don't tell anyone, but my mother *is* Mrs. Claus."  
  
CJ brought a hand to her head and muttered, "Dear God." She then put her   
arm around Sam's shoulder, "Okay, you still have a little while until the   
children get here and you have to not act like a stinkin' drunk when they do.   
So, go get some coffee, splash some water on your face and try to become   
even a little lucid."  
  
Sam nodded and walked away from her. He dissolved into a fit of laughter   
as he almost slammed into a wall. He turned around and waved at CJ, "I'm   
okay, Mom. I'm all right."  
  
CJ groaned softly, as she gave him a halfhearted wave.  
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ entered Toby's office and found him lying on his back, with the dog   
standing on his chest and licking his face.  
  
CJ couldn't help but laugh. "You two have grown close I see."  
  
Toby glared at her, "This smelly thing attacked me."  
  
CJ smiled, "He's licking you, Toby, not stealing your wallet."  
  
"I've been assaulted and you're smiling."  
  
"You have not been assaulted." CJ said and then continued hesitantly as   
she gestured to them, "So...how exactly did you end up there and he end up on   
top of you?"  
  
"I was eating the rest of my roast beef sandwich from lunch and he saw   
it. He jumped up, knocked me down and then proceeded to devour my sandwich.   
He even licked the crumbs from my mouth," Toby replied miserably.  
  
CJ laughed, as she pictured the entire scene. "Well, get up, we've got to   
go."  
  
Toby shook his head, "I can't. Every time I move, he growls at me. And   
I'm not about to be the guy who got his face chewed off by a dog while in a   
Santa suit."  
  
CJ smiled, "Well, nobody wants to be that guy, Toby."  
  
"Help me!" Toby yelled through gritted teeth.  
  
CJ walked over to the dog and pushed him off of him. Toby slowly rose to   
his feet and brushed at his costume. "Stupid dog," he muttered.  
  
The dog growled at him and Toby took a step away. He shook his head at   
CJ, "Look at him. He probably started out as a normal, friendly dog, but the   
moment someone popped some antlers on his head, he became this angry   
creature."  
  
CJ smiled, as she gestured for Toby and the dog to follow her.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Josh grinned, as he placed his arm around Sam's shoulder. They were both   
standing in front of the refreshment table, with glasses of eggnog in their   
hands.   
  
Sam looked at Josh with a perplexed expression, "Y..you look different.   
Did you get a haircut?"  
  
Josh shook his head and smiled, "No, I'm a yodeler."  
  
"Oh," Sam said with an understanding nod, "I like Yodels." He paused and   
then added, "Better than Ring-Dings."  
  
Josh nodded, "I like Devil Dogs. That's a funny name. They don't look   
like a devil or a dog."  
  
Sam furiously nodded in agreement.   
  
Donna approached them both, as she shook her head. She turned to Josh   
and said scoldingly, "What are you doing? You have a sensitive system,   
Joshua. You shouldn't be drinking eggnog."  
  
"I am perfectly sober, Donna." He paused and then asked, "Why are there   
two of you?"  
  
Donna removed the glass from his hand, "How many have you had?"  
  
"One," Josh replied.  
  
Donna shook her head, "That should do it."  
  
She then looked at Sam, who was examining the napkins like he'd never   
seen any before. "Are you drunk, too, Sam?"  
  
"No," Sam said, as he shook his head. Then he held up some napkins and   
smiled, "Aren't these pretty?"  
  
Donna groaned and then spoke sternly to them both, "Stay right here, both   
of you. I am going to go find CJ and tell her that she needs a new elf and a   
new song leader."  
  
With that, Donna turned on her heel and left.   
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ handed Toby the sack full of presents and then pushed him into the   
room filled with children. Donna didn't even recognize her in the costume   
and walked right past her.   
  
Toby held the sack in its place on his back with one hand and the leash   
in the other. CJ stood beside him and smiled at all of the children as they   
gathered around them.  
  
"Smile," she said to Toby through clenched teeth.  
  
Toby smiled the best he could and then rolled his eyes at the children.   
  
He then gave them a weak, almost painful sounding, "Ho, ho, ho."  
  
The children stopped smiling and laughing, and stared at him blankly.   
One little girl asked, "Are you all right, Santa?"  
  
Toby smiled slightly, "Yeah, I"m fine. Just a little indigestion from   
the Mrs cooking."  
  
Toby laughed, as he gestured to CJ with his hand holding the leash.   
  
CJ feigned amusement and said softly, "Cute."  
  
Toby then walked over to a chair and placed the sack at his feet. The   
children gathered around him and pushed to get close to the sack. Toby   
scolded them, "Hey, gather around with as little chaos as possible, you   
barbarians."  
  
CJ's eyes widened in horror and she shot the camera crew a nervous look.   
She then glared at Toby, who tried to recover, "I mean don't push please, you   
cute, cuddly...small people."  
  
CJ rolled her eyes and pointed to the gifts, in order to signal that he   
should begin passing them out and get this over with as quickly as possible.   
  
Toby nodded and began to hand the gifts out to the kids. He watched as   
they tore into the presents like animals ravaging their prey and then shook   
his head as many of them complained about what they had received.  
  
Toby couldn't help it and blurted out, "Stop!" The children stopped and   
looked at him.   
  
CJ stood still and anxiously waited for him to continue. He spoke to   
them all in a much softer tone now, "Look, you guys have to learn to   
appreciate what you're given. You have a lot more than some other kids do.   
Take some time to enjoy what you have and remember that you could have   
nothing at all."  
  
CJ smiled slightly and nodded in agreement with Toby's statement. The   
kids looked at him with mouths hanging open for a few moments, before they   
began to happily play with their new gifts.   
  
One little boy smiled at Toby and said softly, "Thanks, Santa."  
  
Toby smiled and nodded, "You're welcome, kid."  
  
He then looked at CJ, shrugged and smiled.  
  
* * * * *  
  
A few moments later, Donna practically bumped into CJ as she came in the   
door. It took Donna a few moments to realize it was CJ.  
  
She then spoke hurriedly, "I've been looking all over for you."  
  
CJ immediately looked worried, "Why? What happened?"  
  
"Both Josh and Sam are really drunk. If you don't stop them, they will do   
something really stupid and embarrassing."  
  
"It's time to sing songs!" Sam announced from where he and Josh stood on   
chairs near the Christmas tree. They both held glasses of eggnog in their   
hand, as they struggled to keep their balance.  
  
"Too late," CJ said in a groan.  
  
The children gathered around the strange, wobbly men standing on chairs.   
  
Josh whispered into Sam's ear and Sam nodded with a giggle. "That's a   
gooooood idea."  
  
Sam looked down at the children, "Okay, kites." CJ moaned and placed a   
hand over her eyes, as Sam continued, "We are going to start with a classic   
song, 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'"  
  
CJ sighed loudly, but was too shocked to move from her spot and stop   
them.   
  
The children stared at Sam blankly, clearly unfamiliar with the song. He   
went on, "If you d...don't know it, that's okay. I'll...I'll start and then   
my buddy, Josh, will join in. You guys jump in whenever you want to."  
  
With that, Sam began singing in a horribly screechy, slurred voice,   
"Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas   
Eve...You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa,   
we believe."  
  
"She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog," Sam paused and raised up his   
glass. "And we'd begged her not to go. But she'd left her medication, so she   
stumbled out the door into the snow."  
  
It was at this point that Josh decided to join and he began to belt out   
the words in an equally awful voice.   
  
They now sang together, "When they found her Christmas mornin', at the   
scene of the attack, there were hoof prints on her forehead, and   
incriminatin' Claus marks on her back." They paused to sip some eggnog and   
then continued...Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walkin' home from our   
house Christmas Eve...You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for   
me and Grandpa, we believe...Now we're all so proud of Grandpa, he's been   
takin' this so well...See him in there watchin' football, drinkin' beer and   
playin' cards with cousin Belle...It's not Christmas without Grandma. All   
the family's dressed in black. And we just can't help but wonder: Should we   
open up her gifts or send them back?...Grandma got run over by a reindeer,   
walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing   
as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe...Now the goose is on the   
table...And the pudding made of fig...And a blue and silver candle, that   
would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig...I've warned all my   
friends and neighbours...'Better watch out for yourselves.'...They should   
never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with   
elves...Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walkin' home from our house   
Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and   
Grandpa, we believe."  
  
They concluded with their arms around each other's shoulders, as they   
swayed to the music.  
  
When they finished, they looked at the children. Many of the children   
simply stared back blankly, others looked utterly confused, a few were   
laughing, but a majority of them had begun to cry.  
  
Sam and Josh looked at them in confusion for a second, before shrugging   
and drinking some more eggnog.   
  
CJ and Donna had to fight their way through the parents and teachers who   
were now comforting the sobbing children and throwing Josh and Sam dirty   
looks.   
  
They finally reached them. CJ walked over to them and yanked them down   
from the chairs.   
  
"Ow!" they both complained.   
  
CJ's face was red, "What the hell were you two thinking?!...Oh, that's   
right! You weren't!"  
  
"You didn't like our voices?" Sam asked innocently.  
  
"Sam, you made five year olds cry," CJ said gesturing to them.  
  
"They must have hated our voices," Josh determined, before he began to   
drink again. CJ scowled at him and ripped the glass from his grip.   
  
She pointed a finger at Sam, "I said pick an appropriate song!"  
  
"It was Josh's idea," Sam said.  
  
Josh shrugged, "It's a classic."  
  
CJ shook her head and growled, "I don't care! Think about this for   
one-second: You just sang a song to a bunch of five years olds that included   
the following: Grandma being run over by a reindeer. But do you know what   
they heard: Rudolph killed some kid's grandma."  
  
Sam and Josh shook their heads, not understanding CJ's point. She spoke   
in exasperation, "Children love Santa, Rudolph and their grandmas. But you   
just turned Santa and Rudolph into murders and offed their grandma."  
  
Sam shook his head, "Not their grandma, CJ. Listen to the song again."  
  
CJ shook her head and respond in frustration, "You presented some very   
frightening thoughts to these children, Sam. Not to mention the line in the   
chorus that implies that Santa may not be real. Congratulations, they may be   
scarred for life."  
  
Josh and Sam shrugged, too drunk to really care or even understand. CJ   
continued her rant, "And this scarring of America's youth will be broadcast   
nationwide. The entire nation will see two drunk members of the Senior Staff   
acting like idiots and making children cry."  
  
Josh turned to Sam, "I hope they filmed me from my right side. My left   
isn't my best."  
  
Sam nodded in agreement. CJ was just about to strangle them both, when   
the room grew quiet and the President's entrance was announced.   
  
All of the children slowly stopped crying and watched with wide eyes as   
he came to stand before them.  
  
The President looked at CJ once, indicating that he knew what had   
happened.   
  
CJ averted her eyes, as Toby came to stand next to her.   
  
Bartlet then smiled at the children and knelt down to their level. "So   
everyone's having a great time, right?"  
  
The kids responded with a loud, "Yes, Mr. President!"  
  
He nodded, "Good. Now I am going to recite 'Twas the Night Before   
Christmas' for you all." The children cheered, as the President removed hand   
puppets from a bag he was carrying.  
  
Toby groaned, "Not the puppets again."  
  
CJ elbowed him and then they all listened carefully as he recited the   
story with great emotion. The children were captivated by him. They sat   
quietly and hung on his every word.  
  
When he had finished, he smiled and stood up. "Merry Christmas,   
children...And never forget that Christmas isn't in the gifts you get or in   
the movies you watch or in the songs you sing. It's in your hearts and in   
your actions towards those that you love and to those that you may not even   
know. Carry that with you always."   
  
He paused and then clapped his hands together, "Now go get some cookies!"  
  
The children all laughed and hurried over to the table with the food.  
  
The President watched them for a moment before walking over to the Senior   
Staff. His gaze lingered on them, as he spoke, "Is there anything better   
than watching a child's eyes light up around Christmas. They still have that   
innocence...It's beautiful."  
  
CJ nodded, as the President met her eyes. She began quickly, "I assume   
you heard wh-..."  
  
He bobbed his head and glanced at Sam and Josh, "I did."  
  
CJ spoke nervously, "I would just like to apologize and assume full   
responsibility for what happened."  
  
The President shook his head, "It wasn't your fault, CJ."  
  
"Nonetheless, I feel that these children were harmed in someway. They'll   
always remember this as the night the weird guys said Rudolph killed grandma."  
  
The President shook his head with a smile, "No, they won't, CJ. They'll   
always remember this as the night they heard the President recite 'Twas the   
Night Before Christmas' and then remind them of what this holiday truly   
means."  
  
With that, the President turned on his heel and left.   
  
The others exchanged knowing glances and then offered each other warm   
smiles.  
  
It was then that they realized what Christmas should be: a time of   
forgiveness and understanding.   
  
This moment of realization, however, was interrupted when a child   
screamed. They whipped their heads in the direction of the voice.   
  
The dog, still disguised as Rudolph, was standing on the chest of an old   
woman and licking some cookie crumbs off her mouth.  
  
A small girl stood next to them and pointed at the dog. She then yelled,   
"It's just like the song said! Rudolph killed my Grandma!"  
  
CJ groaned and glared at Sam and Josh.  
  
Josh shrugged and smiled, "Remember, CJ, Christmas is in our actions   
towards the people we love."  
  
CJ smiled and tilted her head, "Well then, I guess Christmas is in the   
whipping I'm about to give you two!"  
  
With that, CJ sprang towards them. Josh and Sam took off, and CJ   
followed in hot pursuit.  
  
Toby laughed and turned to Donna, "I love Christmas."  
  
***************************THE END**********************  
  
Feel free to let me know what you thought. Thanks for   
reading! Happy holidays! ~Steph   
  
  
  



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